Relationships are definitely something I wish to stay away from for as long as possible. I dated someone for a year and a half, but I have yet to get over the whole situation. Ryan, my ex-boyfriend and I have been talking a lot lately, bringing up the past, telling one another the things we miss, but we always avoid the actual reason we broke up.
Last night I decided I was tired of beating around the bush. Maybe I came off a little strong with anger, but he's seen my angry before and he knows when to take me seriously. Last night I was dead serious. I began to bring up how bad of person he is now, which was definitely the wrong approach because I'm the reason we broke up. I really didn't have much room to talk... at all. I saw a huge difference between us though, which he definitely didn't react well to hearing either. I told him that I was capable of admitting being in the wrong, Ryan, he wont admit he's in the wrong until someone catches him being a hypocrite.
I didn't mean to come off as a bitch or some psycho, but at the time everything was just built up and I honestly couldn't stand it anymore. He eventually stopped texting me so I felt really bad, but things needed to be said and I hate acting like nothing is wrong. When we talk there's definitely a huge pink elephant in the room. I think it's pretty ridiculous to text, but he's thousands of miles away from and hearing his voice on the phone might make me break down a little more.
I still love him and I know that may sound ridiculous considering I'm only 17, but it's true. I don't expect us to get back together or anything like that, I just want to be as okay as possible with each other because we had went through so much together. It's been five months since we've broken up and I still think about him throughout most of my day. Call me crazy.
